The lamp at the door

Dear reader: This is experience #11. If you want to read them in sequence, scroll down to the bottom and read up.

I experience an unmoving continuum of pure silence within all points of knowledge;
this pervading universality is the experience of the transformations of self-awareness
in reference to wholeness. A continuity of self-wakefulness that pervades all changing
experience is the means by which I am whole. This personal, spontaneous balancing act
of consciousness is like a universal ceremony, where I get to enjoy the multi-layered
process and at the same time be the wonderful tingle in the hum of wholeness.
Each layer of unfoldment is an added layer of simplicity expressing a greater and
greater wholeness. My heart, flooding with the love of understanding, pieces together
more and more joy until even universal love is my personal experience. All this is contained in
the concentrated smallness of my heart, which is somehow perfectly positioned to hold
unbounded silence and universal creation forever as the fullness of my heart.
The stirring of my heart is experienced as the movement of pure knowledge where
understanding and its own movements are clearly indistinguishable from pure bliss,
indistinguishable from wholeness; along with the perfect oneness of the total togetherness
of the sounds and sights of daily life. I am resting as a pure transparency of awareness,
as all memory in a center appreciated in perfect balance. This point of balance is held
central and located absolutely unmoving by the structure of all sounds and all forms. A
clarity of awareness locates unbounded balance as the whole nature of my awareness.
Its interesting to note that the crystalline fullness of emptiness, the pure silence
of unbounded awareness only becomes fuller and clearer when any specific point of
awareness catches my attention and shines and percolates as the expression of this
wholeness. The intensified points of knowledge-filled light and light-filled forms act
like beacons that reveal and clothe more and more specificity with Absoluteness; there
Absolute awareness itself finds a perfect conduit in pure individual wakefulness to
remain whole within the dynamics and expressions of its own, my own fullness.
The simpler and simpler nature of my unfolding experience is made more and
more tangible and is brought about by the increasing awareness of connectedness within
greater and greater complexity. This connectedness, this all togetherness, this heart-felt
center of the layers of my experience within the very dynamics of their own complexity
is the final home of all awareness.
The “lamp at the door” is a perfect description of the concentrated point of my consciousness
that not only intuits but sees both its own
Absoluteness and the expressions of that Absoluteness. “Standing at the door” locates
my Absolute, cosmic, divine and individual experience in my heart and illuminates pure
knowledge as the totality of my existence.
I Absolutely adore knowledge, because from within its own point and points of
unbounded silence and activity nothing is excluded. This quality of all-inclusiveness
creates a wonderful, permanent, and divine home for the heart, mind and body.
I function from within this state that has no layers, no activity whatsoever; yet, even
the appearance of layers has become tangible as the defining organization of wholeness.
Everything in creation is eternally shaking hands with everything else and this experience
is centered in my heart and in every living being throughout creation as wholeness.
Sitting in complete stillness in a dynamic, cosmic home, I am surrounded by the
multi-layered activity of nature. I can hear and see from this central location a pure,
unbounded clarity, with golden, radiant colors and unfathomable forms, infinitely circling
a cosmic heaven of pure structure, pure love, around which the universe pulses as the
layers of celestial, cosmic and material life. A home in fullness that eternally hums and
this hum has in it the knowledge of all silence and of all form, all consciousness and all
matter.
I have become habituated to this unboundedness that is hollow within all points, that
has a center within a center, that is a point of personal experience that knows and sees
wholeness.
If I look at a landscape inherent in that looking is the knowledge of what I see,
I don’t have to consciously think that I see the trees or grass. And further, if I was an
expert on trees, I would not only see what everyone sees but in addition a layer of
understanding would be added to the beauty of the experience. In this same way I can
see and appreciate the geography of my personal, divine, and cosmic existence floating
as the waves on and as the ocean of my pure awareness. The tangible nature of this
experience reveals its own structure as knowledge. In the structure of the experience,
both understanding and experience tickle each other into the awakening experience of
wholeness.
Recently, I experienced a junction point where all the senses
were so close to each other that I could see their interconnected structure. There, I could
see with my sense off touch, hear with my sense of sight, all the senses were inter-
changeable. They were all suffused with an over- arching knowledge that allowed them
to stay differentiated while being appreciated as streams of pure and specific knowledge.
I could see the movement of the senses as specific ripples through the abstract field of
consciousness. They stirred the crystalline purity of my silent heart into specificity, but it
was really the other way around: consciousness itself was stirring its own structure, while
all the while remaining nothing but the heavenly heart of wholeness.
A pure golden drop of invincible purity radiating indescribable energy and power,
eternally generating itself as creation is centered in my heart. This point of adamantine
structure is connected to and actually is the pulsing dynamic of universal events. This
home of all homes is where I find my consciousness located, where I find my whole life
located.
I can see this center, with divine eyes, full of self-luminant beings. I can hear this
center with divine ears full of joyous knowledge. I am this divinity that has subtle
functioning senses, that is also a grand cosmic being; both of these personifications of
wholeness are located in the unbounded center of my heart.
This wonderful point of delightful divinity is the door through which I experience
wholeness. Looking directly at this point I curve back into Absolute fullness, while
remaining this infinitely small point of infinity. Pure love radiates like a cosmic sun
sounding into existence, while I, imperishably immovable, am grounded, held in place,
as the center of this experience by the knowledge and activity of the first and last
primordial being.