My personal space: landscape of the Absolute
I experience the movements of my mind and body as Absolutes from within an all-encompassing wholeness. Everything is contained in this Absolute space, in this totality that is Absolute understanding, Absolute hearing and Absolute sight. Open within this structure I can discern the Absolute, the relative, and the relationship between them. This relationship renders all differences wholistic. My heart, mind, body, and environment are my characteristics of the Absolute functioning as consciousness. This relationship that contains both the unbounded Absolute and the unbounded relative is the unbounded knower; it is my awareness; it is my knowledge. I experience that my awareness has expanded sequentially from this gap of Absolute awareness. Each layer’s clarity and structure automatically creates a new knower who remembers totality while maintaining all the layers. This is not just a feeling or abstract knowing, but is so tangible that even when walking I can hear and see the interconnected structural thickness of my own unified consciousness.
As my understanding woke-up, the experience, which has knowledge as its structure, became real and practical. This totality, this Absolute space, ‘my space,’ is so subtle and also so obvious that it is certainly not just space. Neither relative nor Absolute, this lively effulgence, this all-encompassing structure contains or defines the Absolute as part and parcel of my own awareness. I experience a body because the body is whole, I move because movement is whole, I think because thinking is whole. When I move, this is when I experience the unbounded as movement. A heaven within heaven, right here, right now in my heart. I say heaven within heaven because I can always locate this heaven as if localized within me, in my heart, in my body; yet when I look closer the boundaries of my heart and body extend all the way to comprise and enliven wholeness itself, the heaven of all heavens. My memory of wholeness is so whole that all memories partake of this one supreme memory that has always been there.
Anything that I know reveals the whole range of knowing; anything I do reveals the whole rang of doing. I feel and see a sublime space throughout my mind and body and all around, but a space that is far subtler than ordinary space, both infinitely empty and infinitely full. Alive in knowing, I am able to know and be both. This space manages to be infinitely knowledgeable, infinitely blissful, and infinitely physical -- altogether infinitely me.
Pure joy isn’t there only because I have wonderful thoughts or wonderful sights; it’s there because within these experiences I appreciate the reflected, unified knowledge and glory of infinity, my own self-awake eternal abstraction spilling its totality into smaller and smaller and larger and larger aspects of myself. Also, the joy isn’t there because I only experience the transcendent; but it’s the togetherness and sublime beauty of all the layers that inspires this joy. This ongoing dynamic of great contraction and great expansion together has created a situation of such unflickering stability and awakened knowledge that this experience simply cannot be disturbed.
My experience is like looking at a wonderful landscape that goes on and on, and that I can describe and appreciate in great detail while my senses are simply delivering the information. I can describe the landscape of the Absolute in this same simple way. I am the same Absolute experiencer in the individual and the universe who is doing the knowing, looking, enjoying, and processing with the full range of my heart, mind, and senses. The landscape of the Absolute is awash with the heaven of my own awareness, my own bliss. I live and breathe in the landscape of the Absolute, an environment of total knowledge, in which even differences are acknowledged and loved for the unity and wholeness they create and are.
The greater my mental or physical activity, the greater my recognition of the wholeness, the knowledge, and the bliss. The higher the self-aware wave rises, the more it can hold of the transcendent in the wave of my consciousness. The opposite is also true: the greater my silence, the more activity is included in that silence. All sides of my experience have moved together and expanded to a fuller dignity of understanding, a fuller range, in which even the smallest of experiences are recognized as a part that represents the wholeness of my existence, everyone’s experience.
Whether I am sitting perfectly still meditating, or I am sitting in front of a computer doing art, in both cases, the movements of my mind or the movements of my hand both happen on a screen of self-awareness, so intimate that I see and feel my whole body silently moving, partaking in the joy of wholeness.